Video Posted

The Celebration of Life on 23 November was beautiful. Thank you to everyone that came - we had about 70 people at the celebration, including friends and family from Virginia and New York.

The place looked absolutely beautiful, thanks to our event host at the Glen Lakes Country Club. She hooked us up with the most spectacular flowers and bling! Aunt Joyce made a beautiful memory book "Big Sister" that was filled with old photos and memories. It was absolutely stunning. She also brought some school photos that we put out with the album and some gorgeous red roses that Bill brought to the celebration.

My sisters and I did a "top ten" list of mom's quirks, and we ended the ceremony with a beautiful video slideshow. We posted the slideshow to youtube. The slideshow originally contained the "Love Grows" video by Edison Lighthouse (also on youtube) - it came in after the "Celebration of Life" words. The video was too long for youtube, so we had to leave that part out. You'll also need to forgive the resolution - when you post to youtube, you don't have the quality of the original.

Here it is, for your viewing pleasure:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLTyZedWAak

Enjoy! Have a great Thanksgiving.

A Celebration of Life

There will be two ceremonies to honor mom's life. One will take place this Sunday, November 23, 2008, here in Florida. The other will take place on July 4th, 2009, in New York.

The Celebration in Florida will be a light-hearted tribute to mom, followed by an elegant brunch. Details follow.

The Celebration in New York will be a traditional 4th of July picnic, followed by a fireworks display by Grucci. This was mom's request....to celebrate her birthday and her life. Details are still being worked; we will post the information over the course of the next month as they are being worked so that families can make plans to attend.

The 'Celebration of Life' will take place at the Glen Lakes Country Club in Weeki Wachee on November 23, 2008.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to Hernando Pasco Hospice at the following address:

Hernando-Pasco Hospice
Donations Department
12107 Majestic Blvd
Hudson, FL 34667
or via the internet at: http://www.donatetohph.com/donations/

Please include a note requesting that the donations be used for nurse training in honor of RoseMary Saposnick.

Cards can be sent to our family at the following address:

The Saposnick Residence
New Port Richey, FL 34655

Thank you again for all of your prayers and caring support during this difficult time.

Gina
Toni
Dina

Final Good-bye

Mommy found peace at 9:22 am this morning. We were with her. Bill brought over a rose this morning....from a rose bush that Bill planted for mom. A perfect rose blossomed this morning and Bill brought it to mom. We took a picture of the rose before we gave it to mom. After we said our good-byes, we glanced out the door, and we saw two angels on the lawn, waiting to escort mom home. I guess in Florida, the stork brings you, and the Sandhill cranes carry you home.

If You Pray....

Say an extra prayer for mom...she has experienced a lot these past few days. If you do not pray, light a candle....for peace and comfort for mom.

Achievements

We have two achievements to report:

First Achievement: On Tuesday, November 11th, Trystan (Toni and Jim's son) had his first game of the Springstead High School soccer season. Trystan is one of the captains of the JV soccer team. His team won the game against Ridgewood High School with a score of 5-0. The 5 goals were all scored by 5 different players - one of them Trystan! Way to go Springstead Soccer Eagles.

Second Achievement: The tadpoles have legs! I have attached a pic of what they are looking like. There are 6 in the tank.

Stolen Moments

I wrote the following yesterday in my journal...it's a capsule of the past few days. Today was quiet, mom slept quite a bit, and is very agitated...her anxiety meds weren't given for very long period yesterday, and it caught up with her today. Mom's vitals are still doing OK...but she's slipping more every day. The nurses are adjusting the dosages, she should be back to a more "at peace" mom tomorrow. What I wrote yesterday:

Mom is sleeping right now and I'm sitting bedside writing this. We have mom's favorite CDs playing very softly right now, Frank Sinatra is singing "One for My Baby"....and every lyric to every happy and sad love song that comes on that CD player applies. The tears are just streaming down my face...she looks so peaceful right now......

I'd like to share with you the few stolen moments we've had with mom in the past few days.

* Mom smiled big when Bill came in to the room. I said to her, "Mom, you know when Bill comes into the room, don't you? He smells soooo good, you can smell him, right?" Mom said "stinky"

* Michael and Carol (my step-brother and his wife) came in and Michael was sharing with mom about a dance he had with her years ago....mom remembered that dance and started humming the tune.

* When Carol, Michael & Lily (their beautiful daughter) were in the room with mom this morning, Lily gave mom a hug and then mom even asked for one more. When Carol leaned in for her hug, mom said to her " you were so scared when she was in the bassinet".....when Michael leaned in for a hug, she whispered, "you were so scared to be a mother" to which he replied, "Yeah, but I got the sex part wrong"....and she laughed.

* This morning when Aunt Charlene and I came in to the room, she said "I love you"....

* When Aunt Joyce went in this morning with Dina, she kissed mom and mom said "you're a good kisser". Joyce said "well, I'll have to give you more kisses then"....afterwords, mom said, "they felt good from 'here to here', pointing at her mouth and her belly. *smile* Joyce came out and said, "I think she thought I was Bill".....

* The teachers will enjoy this. Last night, mom was having a lucid moment, so the nurse called me to the room. There were a few of us in there. I sat down next to mom and held her hand. She was talking in a fairly normal tone (she's been whispering a lot lately) and she said, "Gina....I had the weirdest dream.......what is happening to me? I went out...I left the house..." (there are times that you can ask questions when someone is in this state and times when you shouldn't...but since she addressed me specifically, I asked questions. We were all in anticipation of an 'other world' experience mom may have had.) I asked her, "where did you go mom?" She said "I went out. I went to school." I said, "cool beans". In her best sarcastic tone, she said, "what cool beans, what's so cool about it?"......I asked if there were people there. She said "yeah". She was confused, so I asked her if Eltonia was there, she said 'yeah'......she said that she got up, got dressed and went out. I asked her if she drove the Jaguar. She said 'yeah'.....I said, "how did it look?"...she said "shiny" and she started drifting..... So...if it was an "other world" experience, it seems like teachers will always be working and teaching, even in the afterlife. *smile*

*Toni and I went into the room...Bill was already in there, playing his Randy Travis CD...the song, "Forever and Ever, Amen" was playing. Mom had her eyes closed, we were all softly singing the song to her.....

* OK..to lighten up the mood a little....Courtney is an angel. Courtney is Bill's daughter, whom mom loves very much. We had all met Courtney, but didn't really get to know her the way mom did until October 1st, when mom was first diagnosed. We are so glad to have another sister in the family. Courtney felt that we all needed a laugh, so she took the pictures from the blog and sent the following two links. Courtney is the one with the very dark hair...the others at the link are me, Toni (no bangs), and Dina (bangs). Samantha is the addition (she has dimples) in the second link. Today is Courtney's birthday - happy birthday kiddo! We love you!

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/7GJGsUvv3zdmyr2F

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/NZQsHVVlQhojp3Ia

Flowers and Pajamas

Another beautiful red and white bouquet came about a week ago, they seem to be the 'everlasting' flowers...they are as fresh as the day that they came....and they are in mom's room right now, in her view....we knew that she would love them because they match her decor....again, one of those 'if you knew my mom stories'....

The nightgowns are beautful. Mom's was wearing one when her brother Louie visited the other day, she threw a yellow sweater/bed jacket over it, threw on the Versace glasses, and she looked and felt great.

For Mom's Comfort

Thank you all for your well wishes and support, but this is now a time for immediate family only. We now have full time hospice care and mom requested immediate family only when she got to this point.

Mom is "here" about 15% of the day, and we are taking advantage of every moment. She is pain free. This morning mom was looking right at me (Gina) and whispered something about the ugly woman. This delighted my sister Dina. One of the few beautiful, light moments that we are sharing.

We will continue to keep you posted on her status.

A Final Stage of Living - Traveling

Mom is slipping away from us. At 2:30 am she was 'unconscious talking' with Dina and she was talking about traveling and not finding the road. In the early afternoon she was semi-conscious asking me where she had to go. She had to go somewhere, and she couldn't remember where. She was talking to and about a few people who are no longer with us. There were moments of stress and moments of concentration. There was even some whisper-talk about frogs escaping. She was surrounded tonight by friends and family who love her. Tonight she is sleeping peacefully. Hospice will be coming first thing tomorrow for an evaluation for full time care. We are feeling all of your warmth and well wishes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you

We had a very busy day today. Our Uncle and Aunt visited from New York and we had a great visit. My mom is the oldest of 5 children, next in line is her brother Louie. There is a story that we have been hearing since we were all kids...that when they were tweens, some sort of fight started, and my uncle took my mom's Harry Belafonte record, "Momma look at Bubu" and smashed it/threw it out a window, and mom smashed a jewelry box that my uncle made for her. One day someone will remember that story exactly how it happened. : ) My aunt who visited a few weeks ago brought the record...it was nice to see mom and her brother reminisce.

Angels also descended upon us today. School angels. The most amazing, supportive group of women that we have ever met. Ever. Knowing that we are having company this weekend, they brought a truckload of food and an army of volunteers to carry it in. Mom (who isn't having the best week) lit up when you came to visit. I've said it before, but it bears repeating...thank you so very much for caring for us during this difficult time. Good things happen to good people...and you are all saints in our book.

Mom woke up in the middle of the night stressing about what visitors were coming when. Mom's short-term memory is failing. For this reason, we are not telling her about future visitors/visits. We have decided as a family to tell mom about visitors only on the day that they are arriving. We hope that you understand.

Frog Blog

We've been frogged. Yes ladies and gentleman...this little box of cutie patootie tadpoles along with the gecko (who is attached to a bag which contains "frog lunch") was left on our doorstep. At least it wasn't a flaming bag of poo. : )

Mom was up for a short while this evening...so we brought her the tadpoles and the gecko. She said right away who it was that she thought left them. You know who you are - I hope you stop by to visit with mom and the tadpoles soon!

Mom had a sleepy day today. She was lucid for a while when a friend from school visited, but was "snowed" after taking her medication. The extra sleeping is sad...... But mom is pain free, which is what counts the most. Hospice said that mom will have her good days and her sleepy days.

Pain-Free Day

I just got back to Florida. Heard that mom had a pain-free day yesterday....and she seems to be pain-free today. She was awake, and we had a little lunch together. She's very incoherent and is hallucinating due to the meds. She still recognizes us and is glad to see us...we shared a few giggles earlier. Not sure what we were giggling at, but I was happy she was happy. : )

What a Difference a Day Makes

After the photo of mom and the birthday cake was taken (photo in previous blog), mom was feeling nauseous (only happened one other time). She was also experiencing some breakthrough pain, so we gave her more meds, and Toni was sitting with her when I left. When she woke up the next day, she was at pain scale of 10, and was given meds every hour to keep it under control. The hospice nurse came by, and based on a few things, she told our family that we are close. She gave us instructions not to feed mom if she isn't hungry and said that we are close to having a hospice nurse full time. She said we have one to two weeks.

Mom is very heavily medicated right now, and there is no going back. She's sleeping most of the day, and when she is awake, she is mostly incoherent.

Bill and Toni stayed over last night...mom woke between her meds and they had some conversations with mom, so she knows what is happening.

This is a time for close family and friends only to visit. We hope that no one is offended by that statement. If you were very close with mom and a confidant with mom (someone that she wouldn't mind if you saw her in hair curlers, or who she would have a pajama party with *smile*), then we know she wouldn't mind you stopping by at this time (at your discretion). If you would like to say goodbye to mom over the phone, or try to talk with her over the phone, we'd be happy to do that for you when she's awake. Dina's phone number is 352-428-5585 and my cell is 703-731-3464.

Those of you who really knew my mom will appreciate this story. On Saturday, it was mom and me for the entire day. Bill came by a few times and we all had dinner together. While we were getting mom washed up and ready for the day, she asked to get on the scale. (She has the home health aide put her on the scale as well.) Mom loved that she was losing weight. *smirk* You have to take the bath scale, (and it can't be teetering on the grout lines either)...it has to be fully in one square. She was down 4 more pounds, and she had me guard her while she stood sideways in the mirror and she said...see, if I was wearing pants right now, I would be tucking in my shirts again. *SMILE*

If you have a story that you'd like to share about mom, please send it to us at the following email addresses. We'd like to share them with everyone when the time is right.

Dina: dkundrat@tampabay.rr.com

Toni: talese@tampabay.rr.com

Gina: nationalgi@hotmail.com

Sunday Update

More flowers arrived a few days ago– with gorgeous Stargazer lilies and sunflowers, the colors are absolutely beautiful – mom loves them and noticed that they stuck a few buds in with the flowers that are starting to open today. And the angels… a special angel from school had sent one to my mom when she was in the hospital…they looked so pretty, I had to take a picture of them and post them.

We also had a visitor last night,who brought mom a puppy that she could take care of (from her children) and another gift from her. Unfortunately it was a later visit, and mom was already behind closed doors...and mom was upset with me for not knocking on the door...so if you could come back soon, mom is really looking forward to your visit.

We were graced by “the Queen” Samantha today and my nephews were over for brunch…Trystan’s birthday was yesterday (the same night as the homecoming dance), and we celebrated today with two cakes and ice cream. Aunt Gina (who never spends her birthdays with her neice or nephews) was so excited that she bought shield shaped superman plates and napkins. They were COOL. This is an awesome picture of mom at the table with us. Tried to get Trystan to wear a cape, but THAT wasn’t happening. When I left for the airport, Sam was putting a roast chicken in the oven…the boys were watching football, Dina and Jared were playing cards on the screened-in porch, and Toni was laying on the bed next to mom holding her hand and trying to help her fall asleep. *smile* Quality family time.

Mom is taking oxygen more and sleeping more in the mornings. She's eating well, but still dropping weight. Her medication schedule is pretty aggressive, but it’s working to control the pain. She’s basically sleeping until 1:30ish. She has two sets of morning meds with a quick breakfast, so it’s to be expected. On that note, any visits or phone calls are appreciated after 2pm. Mornings are not a good time to try to talk to mom - too many meds. If she adjusts to the point where she can take morning calls again, we will post it. Monday and Tuesday visits from friends are great (all visits are great), because it gives mom /Dina a break when I’m not there.

Mom is still confused, especially about dates and times and is having difficulty with reading comprehension. This is not due to medication. And, she's still lucid, except for dates/times, etc. So…if you could leave that out of topics, your visits/phone calls will be great!

Thank you for the constant outpouring of love and support you have been giving our family. We are truly blessed. There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t get a call or a visit from someone asking if they can help in any way. It’s your support that is helping us all through this difficult time. We love you all!!

The Queen Grandmother & Queen Mother

Queen Mother is what they call Dina and Queen Grandmother is what they call mom. My neice Samantha was voted Homecoming Queen at her high school two nights ago. We saw video of her getting her sash and her big 'ole crown. There is a ceremony at the school tonight - where the court gets escorted by their parents, etc., etc.... Lots of griping because it's 50 degrees here at night and the ceremony is outdoors (I can hear the violins.....) There are actually 4 events that they make appearances at - did you know that? So...tonight is the big ceremony and tomorrow night is the homecoming dance. Kind of cool, because my nephew Trystan will also be at the dance - he's a freshman. My neice is a hottie, so Trystan is sure to be more popular than he already is! *smile*

Have fun tonight Dina, Mark, and Samantha. Love you lots!! Congratulations!

Smiles

These flowers are beautiful - they came a few days ago. Mom loves them!

Update: The new medication regime seems to be working - no massive headaches in the mornings...although mom has been sleeping a lot longer in the mornings - still getting used to the meds. She is becoming acclimated already. I have noticed some overall weakness. The oxygen has helped the breathing.

Visits from friends are awesome. When mom is having an emotional or a bad day, the visits from her friends here in Florida are a real comfort for her. She gets tired of us all the time....having to depend on us gives her a feeling of loss of control. Having friends come by renew that sense of control of her life. We love you all....thanks for stopping by and spending some quality time with mom. She loves your visits.

Mornings are emotional for mom - but not because she's dying; because she's confused. She wakes up with so much on her mind...and she can't seem to make sense of any of it. I assure her she's not alone. :

The flowers in the picture have little candy canes in them....there are signs of holidays everywhere, just not feeling them......I remember this feeling when Harry and Papa Sal died....in fact when Papa Sal died, Ronald Reagan's inaugural ball was on TV (mom was watching it downstairs) and Papa was watching a hockey game upstairs. So many eerie coincidences with mom/papa's last few months experiences.

OK - next post will be happier, I promise.

Update and Mom and Phone Calls

It's Gina, back from Virginia. Things have changed over the past few days....mom is taking oxygen more, but the morning headaches are getting worse, not better - plus breakthrough pain and sleeping more. She continues to have periods of confusion as well. Yesterday, there were three hospice visits, the RN, the Physicians Assitant, and the home health aid. They are hearing some fluid in mom's lungs. I heard that the PA was "a pissa" as they say in NY. She is a native NYer, was a RN for about 20 years, and a PA for about 15. She was also a nun. Dina said she was sort of masculine. She asked Dina if she knew how the name 'nun' came about. Dina said 'no' and the PA said, "It's because you get nun in the morning, nun at noon, and nun at night".....ROTFLOL

For the pain, they have upped the meds substantially, and we are now administering them around the clock. She's in the same adjustment period on the meds as she was the first time they adjusted the meds. Had a major munchie attack yesterday, ate Lays potato chips, full sized candy bar, and picked out lots of items on the chinese food menu. My mom's a stoner. LOL.... P.S. Do not send any munchies our way, our friends Larry, Lorraine and Linkon sent a basket with enough goodies to last a year. : )

On phone calls....(and visits for that matter), please consider not asking questions that are time related, as in 'when did so and so visit' or 'when will so and so visit'....anything that involves a calendar or mom having to read and comprehend something. The confusion leads to stress, stress leads to pain....you get the picture. Mom needs to get used to the meds before the confusion/irritation calms. Also, mom will grabe the phone before we do, and if she does and she sounds sleepy...please ask for one of us. If anyone needs information about visits, please call me at 703-731-3464 or Dina at 352-428-5585

Can't imagine what it's like to be mom right now...actually I can imagine it because we are on the other end of it....but when she asks for something and we can't find it....it has to be frustrating as h*ll for her....because she can't just get up and find it herself. She's being a good sport about it --about 90% of the time. : )

Today we cleaned out drawers--made our throw away piles, our donation piles. It helps her to feel in control of at least some of the things in her life.

Sunday Update

Mom's nights and mornings have not been pain free. : ( Nights are at a scale of 3 or 4 though, much better than before. We manage to get her comfortable and to fall asleep quickly. The trick is to talk to her until you bore her to tears and she falls asleep. (joking...it's actually a combination of boring conversation and meds...hehe)

Mornings have been different, however. She's been waking up with headaches, and yesterday's was pretty bad. We had asked the nurse about this, and she asked if mom was using oxygen yet (she wasn't). Mom (being mom) didn't want to start oxygen when company was here, and we had company over the weekend. When she woke up yesterday with the headache, Dina and I explained to her that we heard her shallow breathing the night before - the breaths are definitely not deep enough, and it's probably causing her headaches. Last night at dinner time, she asked for oxygen. Dina and mom are sleeping in, so I'm guessing it's working well - will keep you posted on the status.

We had a great day yesterday - my cousins Chris and Laura, my Aunt Joyce, and Bill were here. Mom actually moved from the recliner to the couch to hang with her two honeys....and Bill showed a bunch of photos on his computer. When mom and Bill were living together, mom became very interested in Bill's garden/landscaping, so he's been taking photos and bringing them to her to keep her updated. After some snacks - we retreated to mom's room to watch a movie...again, 3 in the bed - this time two in the twin sized hospital bed (smile) and me hanging in a chair. We watched Sex and the City. My cousin Christopher chose not to join in the chick fest (Bill had no choice) and made our dinner. For my friends in Virginia concerned if I'm eating...I have to say "are you kidding me?" It's been an Italian love-fest since we found out at the beginning of October. What that means is, whatever mom wants....and it's mostly been Italian food....Italian cookies and pastries...it's crazy.

Mom and Bill

Bill, you are the light in mom's life. My sisters and I are so greatful to have you and your beautiful daughter Courtney in our lives, especially during this difficult time.

Mom lights up like a Christmas tree when you enter the room. Her stress level drops, and in turn her pain level drops. She thoroughly enjoys your visits and how you take care of her. The other morning when you were over...and mom called us into the room to hear that Randy Travis song...that was a memory that we will always treasure. And then mom listening to the Rod Stewart CD and smiling and saying "I can be sick as a dog, but this music still puts me in a romantic mood".....nice memories

For everyone else who is visiting...we know you have come a long way, we know your time with mom is limited, but when Bill visits, if you can allow them a little alone time when he comes by, I know that mom would appreciate it.

Visitors

Mom loves the company, a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has stopped by. I can't say it enough, if you are going to visit, sooner is better than later. To control the pain, hospice will up the meds......and mom will not be the same

The weekend of 8 November, our step-brother and his wife and daughter will be staying with us, and a friend of mom's will be stopping by for a visit.

Other relatives had discussed coming to town the weekend of November 8th...we are happy to have everyone stop by, but it would be very helpful if you could call us that weekend to schedule a time to stop by.....and again, sooner than the 8th would be better due to mom's condition.
Gina's cell - 703 731-3464

Gifts...

This is one HUGE basket to cure the munchies! This full sized basket came today, everyone was VERY impressed. Huge bags of chips, full bags of twizzlers, and chocolate bars. Thanks you guys....you are the best. Loved the note as well! Took mom a minute to realize who you were, and when she did, she was surprised and thrilled. She remembered my BFF and his beautiful, sweet girlfriend.


A cornucopia of dreamy chocolate ganache...how beautiful is this? The picture doesn't do it justice. There is a whole lot of love in this basket. It was hand-carried from NYC, and the person hand carrying said that if TSA was going to take it away from her, she was going to eat each ganache and call mom to describe what each one tasted like. HAHAHAHA

OK...a panda bear named Zowie has joined our group of presents....caught the panda and the teddy on the couch. Interracial love....shocking....

• The card with the personal note and song lyrics came a few days ago....you know who you are. Mom asked to read that note at least 5 times today. Thank you, thank you, thank you. It meant the world to mom.

Update

Just wanted to drop everyone a note on mom's status. I was gone only for a few days, and I have noticed some subtle changes since I've been back. Mom is confused sometimes, and it is not due to medication. There has been some mild breakthrough pain, which is a bit disconcerting because she is on enough painkillers for an elephant. On the positive side, she's still eating well, and is in good spirits. She's talkative and has been enjoying the company that has been coming by.

A big thanks to our cousins who are visiting. Jenn, Jacki and Anthony...we love you to death. Thank you soo much for helping us....the visit has been awesome and we appreciate everything you are doing for us. We are such a close family....in good times and in bad....it's all about family...it's all about love.....Mwah!

Random Thoughts

It's Gina again. Just a random thought about marketing. Dina went to the mailbox after mom was home for a few days. A few things in the mailbox that morning are still haunting me, so I thought I'd share. Just weird coincidences...... junk mail with the line on the envelope about pre-paying for your cremation.....and my favorite...the JCrew Catalog...mom hadn't ordered for a while, so on the cover page, in big bold lettering said, "Rosemary, is this really goodbye?".....

Catalog companies should re-think who they are sending those catalogs too....maybe after a certain age, they shouldn't send statements like that? Or, just leave the state of Florida out of that kind of advertising altogether....

Every notice that some days your life is like a really bad sitcom? We could sell some of this material. Maybe I should write Tina Fey....

Barry Manilow Songs...

Mom was singing Barry Manilow songs today in the shower. We were singing right along with her....which at any other time in my life, I would not admit to. : ) .....Dina was singing them too! See what I did, I threw my sister under the bus. HAHAHAHAHAHA

The bear came at dinner time - mom loves the bear, and the balloons! She is feeling the love and support from everyone - Dina talked with mom a little bit about that today....about the love and the sharing with everyone.

Mom had some meaningful telephone conversations (and some silly ones) with friends today. All in all, a very good, pain free day.

I head home 2morrow for a few days, coming back on Wednesday. Toni will be stopping by to help out Dina on Mon & Tues. It's hard to go home - when I left last time, I had such a hard time leaving Dina and Toni (& Bill, mom's boyfriend) to take care of everything. *sigh* This is so hard.

Early this morning...

I woke mom at 4:30am to give her some meds. After she took her meds, she pulled me down to her and whispered in my ear, "Does this still feel like a dream to you too?"

Another good day....

Not 100% pain free, but mostly pain free. Dina and I are getting the hang of the pain control and we are more specific with hospice, so we are able to manage more effectively. She's getting more accustomed to the drugs, so definitely more lucid today. She sat at the table in her wheelchair and had dinner with me, Dina, Toni and the boys tonight, and went through some catalogs. She's been hanging out in the living room in the recliner for a few hours a night. She is totally uninhibited...when her boyfriend Bill was here, she was sharing probably more than Bill was comfortable with, which is funny!! Bill seemed OK with it all though, he's just taking it in stride.

Pajama gram came today! Mom loved the pajamas!

Flowers & Fruit - Thank you!

Incredible Edible bouquet is spectacular, and came just when we had company - thought you'd like to see it. And the sunflower/iris bouquet came around the same time. The iris flowers opened up today - they are beautiful, mom said, "oooh...I love those yellow sunflowers". And for those who are wondering, the edible bouquets are as fresh and tasty as they look.

Zero Pain

Mom was pretty much at pain level zero all day today, and she got some much needed rest. Still stoned but deliriously happy. When we are moving her from spot to spot, she rests her head on our shoulder and sings to us or wants to dance.

She answers the phone, and if the person on the other end doesn't ask for one of us, they don't really know what's going on. So....she talks and slurs on the phone. So...apologies to anyone who may have been talking with mom today. I can assure you that she's still pretty lucid....just high. The hospice nurses told us that the sleepiness will wear off in a few days.

Great day overall!

Mom has the Munchies.....

We are sitting on the couch, our mom is on the recliner and in no pain whatsoever. She's high as a kite and silly/happy. In fact, she has the friggin munchies....had Dina making some dip for some potato chips, and she just chowed on a mini butterfinger. Hilarious......she was singing "head and shoulders, knees and toes" a little while ago. Funny, funny, funny. They say that the sleepy high will wear off to some degree in a few days.

: )

How did this happen?

Or as my friend Dona so eloquently put it, “HOLY SHIT!!! OMG that is insane.” On September 30th, mom was at work. On October 1st, she went into the hospital for some tests (they found a mass on her lung on a ct scan the week before). This hospital gives a full battery of tests all in one day with results and visits from different doctors. The second day you are supposed to come back for your biopsy. The first day they ran a bunch of tests that showed that mom is at Stage 4 lung cancer, the cancer is in her bones, her liver, her blood, and in the fluid around her brain (although we don’t know to what extent. They found multiple fissures in her spine, floating pieces of bone from the spine, pelvic stress fracture, neck stress fracture, etc., etc…) By the end of the day the oncologist came in and Dina asked straight up, if I was going to tell family to visit, when should they come. The oncologist said, “next week”. They kept her in the hospital for calcium in her blood, and by Friday, she could no longer walk. She can stand and pivot and take a few steps, but too weak and painful to do anything else.

How did she wind up going for a ct scan? Mom had clear lung x-ray and a sinus ct-scan about 6-7 months ago. Her lungs were clear, but her sinus’ had issues. Mom had sinus surgery a few months ago. She wasn’t healing from it, and had to keep going back and getting cleaned out. She was on percocet for a few weeks, which was masking all of her other aches and pains, and as a rheumatoid and osteo-arthritis sufferer, she was always in some sort of pain. She just attributed all of the pain to the sinus surgery and the arthritis. She did cough up blood though, so they decided to do another ct scan, which showed a 4 – 5 cm mass on her lungs.

The question on everyone’s mind is, where did it start? We all have our own different theories, the docs think it was the lungs, based on the type of cancer cells. We’re puzzled by the bone fractures, and are wondering if it didn’t start in the bones? Moot point….we are sort of getting over ‘where did it start’…at this point, it doesn’t really matter.

It’s been a very surreal experience for all of us. Dina was there at the hospital and giving us updates. Again, from being at work on a Tuesday, to not walking on Friday. Very, very surreal. And, she’s been home for one week, and her narcotics are now at 10 times the dosage she was on a week ago.

Hospice has been great, they come almost every day, we have home health care as well and social workers that visit. I have been fortunate enough to take leave, and plan on spending a lot of time here through November. Dina and I take turns and support each other in the evenings, and our sister Toni comes every day and spends time with mom. We're supporting one another and doing well.

Happier News

Hi everyone, it's Gina. I finally have a few minutes to write an update. A few things first - one is that we did not tell my mom that this blog is up, so we'd appreciate it if you didn't mention it to her if you happen to call.



This blog is for mom's family and friends...to let you know how she is doing, and to let you know when she's needing a pick-me-up phone call or a visit from her friends here in Florida.



After a few very bad nights (last night her sisters were here, she was at a heart-wrenching pain scale of 10), we had a visit from a hospice nurse who adjusted the medications we have been providing to mom. I am very happy to report that mom said that her pain scale this evening was a "1"....for the first time in a few weeks. In order to get her there, they've been gradually adding narcotics, and she is on 10 times the narcotics she was on just a week ago. She is happy and pain free, and she asked us if we wanted her to do a jig for us when we were moving her from the living room to the bedroom. So, if she seems a little confused if you call, or doesn't always make sense, it's because she's pain free. Think of her as your favorite waspy housewife or celebrity addicted to prescription meds.... It's making her goofy, funny, and in a good mood, and it's making us relieved. She's lucid, just loopy around medication time. Our only concern now is that she's going to want to fly....(just kidding)...



Thank you for all of the cards, letters, gifts, phone calls and support. If you are worried about what to expect or what you are going to say when you call, just know that she's thinking the same thing. In the end though, her conversations with everyone have been mostly about the shock of it all, and they end with talking about what's going on in your lives. She's very interested in how your children are doing, how you are doing, and in general what's going on in your life…as she says, “it’s about sharing the love.” She is definitely feeling the love and support from everyone.


A BIG thank you to our families and friends who have been supportive of not only mom; but my sisters and I at this very hard time in our lives.

I can’t say enough about both of mom’s families, her family by blood, and her Marlowe family.

To our immediate family, your visits have been awesome. Picture a queen sized bed, and a hospital bed in one room. Then picture mom’s 3 sisters (Aunt Laraine is a sister as far as we are all concerned) and mom all lined up in a row watching movies. BFFs…..

Cousin Eddie, mom loved your stories, updates and family pictures…we all did. It doesn’t get any better than sharing with those you love, even during hard times. Love you cuz….thanks for visiting, it meant a lot to share some quality time. We need to do that more often….

To mom's Marlowe family, my sisters and I will be forever grateful to you. Because of her work at Marlowe, her self-confidence and self-esteem grew and grew. You have an amazing support system…everyone has been so helpful….I’m verklempt! Mom loves all of you, and we all appreciate the visits, flowers, gifts, food and everything that you have been doing for us. Big hugs to everyone. Thank you for visiting, it always brightens mom’s day to catch up with you all on what’s going on with school and in your lives.

That’s all I have for now, I will try to update this blog every few days.

Thanks again for all of your good vibes and warm fuzzies…

Sad News

Last week RoseMary was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The news came as a shock to all of her family and friends as only the week before, everything was routine.

Physically, she is in pain, but the medication helps control that enough. Unfortunately, she is bed ridden due to the damage to her bones.

Mentally, she is alert, happy, and enjoying all the attention.

Spiritually, she seems to be dealing with the issues involved.

The hospice care has been great and that is a big part of her being herself.



Cards, gifts or flowers can be sent to:
4216 Prado Lane
New Port Richey, FL 34655

Check back here for updates and photos.